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Computer Terms for Rednecks REDNECK COMPUTER TERMS
BACKUP - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods
BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern
BUG - The reason you give for calling in sick
BYTE - What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro
CACHE - Needed when you run out of food stamps
CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in
TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker
CRASH - When you go to Junior's party uninvited
DIGITAL - The art of counting on your fingers
DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer
FAX - What you lie about to the IRS
HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking
HARDCOPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos
INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put their hair
KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere
MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food
MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after 17 beers
MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall
MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie live
NETWORK - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line
ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test
ROM - Where the pope lives
SCREEN - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch
SERIAL PORT - A red wine you drink with breakfast
SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee of the year
SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear
Even More!
LOG ON: Makin the woodstove hotter.
LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.
MONITOR: Keepin an eye on that woodstove.
DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood off the truck.
MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin that farwood downloaded
FLOPPY DISK: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood.
RAM: That thar thang whut splits the farwood.
HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in the winter time.
PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.
WINDOWS: Whut to shut when it's cold outside.
SCREEN: Whut to shut when its' blak fly season
BYTE: Whut them dang flys do.
CHIP: Munchies for the TV.
MICRO CHIP: Whuts left in the munchie bag.
INFRARED: Whur the left over muchies go (Fred eats them).
MODEM: Whatcha do to the hay fields.
DOT MARTIX: Ol Dan Matrix's wife.
LAP TOP: Where the kitty sleeps.
KEYBOARD: Whur ya hang the dang keys.
SOFTWARE: Them dang plastik forks and knifs.
MOUSE: What eats the grain in the brain.
MAIN FRAME: Holds up the barn ruf.
PORT: Fancy Flatlander wine.
ENTER: Northern fer "c'mon in ya'll.
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya cain't member whut ya paid foe new rifle when yore wife asks.
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